|
The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.
|
|
The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.
|
|
Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.
|
|
If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's probably a media billionaire. Or on the other hand, he may be a wharfie.
|
|
There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.
|
|
On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.
|
|
Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the plastic milk crate.
|
|
All our best heroes are losers. (Shane Warne might
just be a case in point)
|
|
The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the
snags.
|
|
It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.
|
|
A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a fine example of Australian footwear. A group of sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.
|
|
It is proper to refer to your best friend as "a total bastard". By contrast, your worst enemy is "a bit of a bastard".
|
|
Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can be traced to the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the 1890s, and the development of a code of mutual aid, or mateship". Alternatively, Australians may just be really hopeless with names.
|
|
The wise man chooses a partner who is attractive not only to himself, but to the mosquitoes.
|
|
If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it's not worth fixing.
|
|
The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one that has the swimming pool.
|
|
It's considered better to be down on your luck than up
yourself.
|
|
The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in the family drinks too much.
|
|
If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and then spend all night drinking the host's beer. (Don't worry, he'll have catered for it).
|
|
If there's any sort of free event or party within a hundred kilometres, you'd be a
mug not to go.
|
|
The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. You should take everything you own. If you don't need to make three trips back to the car, you're not trying.
|
|
Unless ethnic or a Pom, you are not permitted to sit down in your front yard, or on your front porch.
|
|
Pottering about, gardening or leaning on the fence is acceptable. Just don't sit. That's what back-yards are for.
|
|
The tarred road always ends just after the house of the local mayor.
|
|
On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus
grog battle that can only ever be solved by leaving the food behind.
|
|
MORE
|
|
